Mature woman squirting on the coach
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| How to squirt? Women only!? I really want to squirt from masterbation. Please help, ANY help is totally appreciated! Oh and feel free to IM or E-mail me. ;) |
| Ok I not a women but i do know about the subject Only some girls can squirt, it comes from masturbation or other things that make you horny. When you are fingering keep going after you orgasm and keep going even when you feel you need to pee, that is the squirt |
| What do you think of my essay? When I am an adult ( I'll never grow up so I shall say when I'm an adult) I intend to be a happily married lesbian housewife (or wife of David Bowie) who not only writes novels, performs in community theater shows, teaches Queer literature and Queer history classes, studies genetics in her free time and eventual president. However because you wish to stifle my creativity I must choose one, and I choose to write about being a Queer lit/history teacher and Mom. Here is a day in that life: "MOM!! WAKE UP YOU STUPID COW!!" My eight year old daughter Hermia screams in my ear. "Yell in my ear and call me a cow again and I swear on all that is ******** holy I will take that class on the theories of Sigmund Freud." "Is Sigmund Freud that dude who thinks every woman wants to sleep with her father?" "Yup." Hermia scrunched up in fear "I be good!!" she squeeled. "Get out of here squirt" I said messing up her hair and grinning "I gotta get dressed." I stood up and streched and walked over to my wardrobe. I pulled out a light pink puffy blouse and a skirt reaching up to the top shelf and getting my rhinestone headband. I jumped into the shower got washed, got out toweled off , got dressed and went downstairs. My beautiful wife was bottle feeding our son, Lysander and Hermia was putting way too much maple syrup on her pancakes. "Do you want to take over or - " my darling asked "I'm going to take him to work today, so since I'll have to suffer from sore breasts all day you can finish." "Can you take Hermia to school today? I'd do it but the bookstore is short staffed today." "Sure. " I glanced at my watch "Oh damn, we're going to have to hurry, Hermia, take the plate with you, I'm going to be late for my first fricken class" I walked over to my wife and took Ly in my arms and gave my wife a kiss as Hermia darted out the door. I grabbed the diaper bag and put the keys to my car in my mouth and ran out following my rambunctious daughter. She was already buckled into her seat in my mercedes and I handed her her brother to buckle him in. I got behind the wheel, slammed the door and buckled myself in. I turned on the David Bowie CD I had in the player, put my key in the ignition and pulled out of the driveway. I dropped Mia at school and started driving to the University. When I got there I put Ly in his stroller and ran into the liberal arts building. "Sorry I'm late." I said to my students as I walked into the room. " I have Ly today and... I'm sorry, I'm rambling, can someone tell me where we left off yesterday?" A girl in the front row who was wearing a very clingy sweater bearing the school's logo raised her hand. "We were on the discussion of the Anita Bryant crusades." "Ah thank you." I managed to get through the day with Ly crying only twice. After about five more classes I drove home and was greeted with the site of the chinese delivery man on the stoop. 'Thank G-d, Chinese food HURRAH!' I walked in the door to my house and sighed. I had a kick a ss life. |
| Sorry for being a critic, but being a fan of writing myself I just can't help it...=/ Not great. Not bad either, but it just doesn't seem to have any appeal. Sorry... *hug* |
| Is this a good short story? The morning sun blazed upon my skin, telling me to wake up from my almost eternal slumber. Today was the day of Mourn as of which my Grandfather died. My eyes dried overnight, due to his departure from the world. It left a hole in me, an empty hole that can never fill what my Grandfather did. He died due to old age and natural causes. But in my mind death is never natural. The blackness it holds under you for the rest of your life, until you pass on that blackness onto your future or current family and friends. As I walked down stairs, the aroma of liquor filled the air. There laid my very abusive father. Danial James. Past memories filled my mind. The memories were not good ones. Memories of blood and tears filled my mind. I ignored them and kept walking to the bathroom. I was sidetracked by my little sister who thinks she is the big sister. She started to talk. "Hello squirt" she said. She was like a small dog, bossing around the bigger dog. "What you doing?" she asked. "I was to tired to answer, I just kept walking. As soon as I was done my bathroom duties I had to clean and cook. You see my mother abandon us when I was 6 and I have yet to get over it. As I cleaned, my father kept yelling at me like I was his slave. His hurtful words stung me each time he said them. I felt trapped, the helplessness plagued my heart and mind but never my soul. I was done, for now. It was almost 6 now and I have yet to sit down. The sores on my foot felt like nails piercing my foot one at a time. By now Danial and and my sister Tyana were either sleeping or at work. So I had the house to myself. I puled out my secret Lap-top. I only used this for colleague and that was it. I wanted to do something with my life. I was almost done colleague, I was getting my degree in marketing. Then I heard the door bell ring. I shut my lap-top and went to answer the door. To my surprise it were the police. They stood there in sadness, and I knew it wasn't going to be good. One of the officers started to talk. His voice was muscular, and husky. "Young lady, at 4:18 this evening a man who we think is your father shot and killed your sister. Then out of fear he took his own life and jumped of a bridge. He didn't survive. We are greatly sorry." They left and I shut the door. I walked to the couch, thinking about what has just happened. I let it sink in. Then i went up stairs and packed my bags, I made a couple last phone calls, paid some bills, and cleaned the knife, and fork that i used to eat my lunch. I took a bottle of gasoline and spared it on the up stairs floor. Then I took all my fathers liquor and pored it on the down stairs. I took a match and i threw it on the ground. It burst into flames. The warmth of freedom spread through me. The stress of my father's cruel words aroused from my shoulders. And the hole that was left by my grandfathers death was filled again. But what I didn't know was that the police officer that said my sister and father were dead, called the house, and i missed it. "Dear miss James, we made a terrible mistake. The man and women we found dead were in no way related to you, we had the wrong address." If I knew that, this would have never happened, but at least I am free. WQ- Should I make a sequal to this one |
| Keep writing. Have you checked out any writing communities? I'm on a free writing site called chapteread.com/ They have great features for giving people feedback. And an awesome private writing area that i use- Worth checking out! |
| Best size!? I am an African and one of the pple who agree that size doesn't matter, although matters to some. For me it matters in the sense that most men feel shy with a tiny dick; and am one of them! I have not measured it, because it is always measured in inches and I use the metric system. Now is there a way (and free ofcourse) of enlarging (length& width/girth) it to normal size! What is recommended size anyway (metric system pliz!)! I have satisfied all my women in life, but using all sorts of techniches, like making them squirt alot, but I use a lot of energy and calories; and I always feel shy whenever my penis retracts to its original size after sex! I mean I need a representable size! Watching the guys in porn movies makes me inferior! I know many answers are that so long as you please and satisfy your partner, it's enough!But your partner also needs something tangible to hold, suck and feel,....not my cigarette size! Any free advice and help will be highly appreciated. |
| there should not be any problem, you said it yourself. you satisfied lots of women. its would be challenging and an opening line should they comment about it, like " would you like to try it " or " let it grow in your mouth". take it to your advantage. dont believe all you see in porns...they're a set up. watching one "grow" and feeling it grow in my mouth makes me moan and slowly retracting in me! you're appreciated. |
| How bad this Lyrics are ??? Lyrics 01: Inside your mind, stays Evil that's concealed Inside your mind, writhes a plague reaching distance unseen Through your mind, streak of blinding malice runs squirts Through your mind, a decorated pain is dispatched Who you are? The Desecrator's ghost! Who you are? The painter of human soul! Why can't you hear? The cries of everlasting pain! Why you play? The succulent games that make us astray! The panic cries haunt our existence to the end The victim, he dies deeply subdued The holy angels, concealing lies The messiah of darkness, get aside Who you are? The Desecrator's ghost! Who you are? The painter of human soul! Why can't you hear? The cries of everlasting pain! Why you play? The succulent games that make us astray! Do you mind? If I take a loaf! Of the conquest, to break away To break away and run free! Do you mind? If I take a loaf! Lyrics 02: As I fall through the depths of this abyss inside A cold swirl devours me of my last drop of sense Fallen way beyond from the archaic heights I now see no black, only see colours so blind Reason obliviates emotion, lust obliviates lust Time obliviates touch, numbness I left in thy crust I see the pain in your eyes, eating you from deep inside Guiding you to the scenes you've seen, again they light the torch of misery I see the pain in your eyes, feel my burning touch in your thighs Leaving you in the abyss of demise, fight thy haunting guilts tonight From a sense so vivid, from a life so rheotic I now live a life, emptied by pseudocrity Perfection, thy desire, unholy cry for lust, I see thy fixated to the chains of disgust Reason obliviates emotion, lust obliviates lust Time obliviates touch, numbness I left in thy crust I see the pain in your eyes, eating you from deep inside Guiding you to the scenes you've seen, again they light the torch of misery I see the pain in your eyes, feel my burning touch in your thighs Leaving you in the abyss of demise, fight thy haunting guilts tonight Reason obliviates emotion, lust obliviates lust Time obliviates touch, numbness I left in thy crust I see the pain in your eyes, eating you from deep inside Guiding you to the scenes you've seen, again they light the torch of misery I see the pain in your eyes, feel my burning touch in your thighs Leaving you in the abyss of demise, fight thy haunting guilts tonight |
| --------… I know first one is About God. But what about second one? Is it saying bad thing about Women? I'm a little bit confused. How Bad? If you don't have profound knowledge about English please don't answer. This are not my song. Which one will be more sinful if I listen or sing ? |
| Its too long to read!! |
| Did you know.................? only one book has been produced more times than the bible, the ikea catalogue It is illegal to reproduce or sell Jack Daniels in the town where it was made If you are right handed, you tend to chew your food on the right side Chewing gum whilst peeling onions stops you crying If your tongue is pink, it is germ free The titanic was the first ship to use the SOS signal The pupil of the eye expands as much as 45% if the person looks at something pleasing Six year old laugh (on average) 300 times a day Bats always turn left when exiting a cave before we eat honey, it has already been digested by a bee The colour blue causes the brain to release calming hormones Every time you sneeze, some of your brain cells die When you blush, the lining of your stomach also turns red When a hippo is upset, it's sweat turns red the lion that roars on the MGM logo is named Volney It cost 7 million dollars to make the Titanic and 200 million dollars to make a film about it There are 1,792 steps to the top of the Eiffel Tower The sound you hear when you crack your knuckles is actually the sound of nitrogen gas bubbles bursting Human hair and fingernails continue to grow after death Every day 200 million couples make love, 400,000 babies are born, and 140,000 people die In most watch advertisements the time displayed on the watch is 10:10 because then the arms frame the brand of the watch (and make it look like it is smiling) Colgate translates into the command “go hang yourself” in spanish The only 2 animals that can see behind itself without turning its head are the rabbit and the parrot Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair The average person laughs 13 times a day Women blink nearly twice as much as men Large kangaroos cover more than 30 feet with each jump Whips makes a cracking sound because its tip moves faster than the speed of sound If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle; if the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died as a result of wounds received in battle; if the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural cause The human heart creates enough pressure while pumping to squirt blood 30 feet!! now there's something you don't learn everyday! |
| I'm sitting here in class and I just busted out uncontrollably laughing when I read the Colgate one. Now everyone is laughing with me, as I just explained. :D |
| I'm having exruciating pain during sex? For the past 4 months, I have been experiencing pain during sexual intercourse. I thought maybe it was because I was not getting wet enough, so I purchased some KY which seemed to only make matters worse. I went to my female doctor and she gave me what she called a "Pain Check", very similar to a papsmear. Since the pain only occured at the opening of my vagina, she said that my glands were inflamated and it was very common in women so I was not to worry. The treatment she gave me was to not have sex for 6 weeks, take 3 calcium citrate pills a day for 6 weeks and to squirt distilled water on myself while I urinate. Yes, very strange treatment.. but she told me that it was really the only treatment to be done... Which I find hard to believe. I thought I was better after about 4 weeks because I was able to insert a tampon without any pain, but once I had sex it was still painful. Is sex going to be painful for me for the rest of my life?? Is there anything else I can do? My boyfriend tells me that he is ok with me not being able to have sex, but I am still worried I'm not pleasing him. And I also really miss being able to have pain free sex. HELP PLEASE!! |
| Visit another doctor - a gynocologist. |
| Do you like these jokes? i got conned by my local supermarket,i bought a tin of that alphabet spaghetti and it was full of 'o's two australians,Bruce and cobar, were great mates but unknown to bruce cobar was sleeping with his wife,one day cobar was with bruces wife while bruce was at work,they were on the floor in the new bathroom that bruce had just spent thousands on getting down to some seriously heavy petting,cobar said "c'mon sheila, get up and let's go and make love in the bedroom",sheila said " crikey cobar,my fannies so wet i'm suctioned to the bloody floor tiles",as hard as he tried cobar couldn't pull sheila from off the tiled floor and decided the only thing he could do was to phone bruce at work and confess that he was having an affair with his wife and explain the situation, "g'day bruce,it's your old mate cobar here,listen mate,this aint easy for me to tell you but me and your sheila have been having an affair for the last couple of years behind your back,i feel real bad mate as we've been best mates most of our lives and i know i deserve a good kicking mate but the thing is sheila's suctioned her wet fanny to the tiled floor in your new bathroom,i think i'm going to have to smash the tiles to free her mate",there was silence on the phone and cobar was expecting all hell to break loose,bruce replied,"jesus mate,can't you slide her out of the bathroom into the hallway,those bathroom tiles cost me a mint" This bloke goes into a petshop as he's decided he wants to get himself a new pet,he doesn't know what he wants so he decides to have a good look round.He looks at all the normal run of the mill pets and then sees a cage with a sticker on it that says " talking centipede, £500", he's amazed by this so he decides to buy the centipede,later that day the bloke says to his new pet "fancy coming for a pint, oi,centipede,do you fancy coming for a pint,for christ sake are you going to answer me,do you want to go for a pint", the centipede says " for fcuk sake,wait a minute,i'm putting my shoes on" A refuse collector knocks on a house door and a chinese man answers,the refuse collector says "sorry to disturb you,where's your bin",the chinese man replies "i just bin upstair" the refuse man says "wheres your dustbin" the chinese man said " i jus tol you,i bin upstair" the refuse man says "no sir,wheres your wheelybin" the chinese man says " ok,i weally bin upstair having wa-k" I stopped at one of those roadside fastfood places the other day,i looked at the menu and ordered a hot dog,the woman took my money and then put a hamburger under each armpit,i asked her what she was doing and she told me she was defrosting the hamburgers,i said "cancel the hot dog" I took my dog to the vets because she had the squirts,we went in and the vet picked my dog up to examine her,after a while the vet said"i'm afraid i'm going to have to put your dog down", i said "what,because she's got the runs" he said "no,because she's heavy" (i know, thats bad) whats ET short for.....................cos he's got little legs 2 tramps were walking down the road and one turns to the other and says "have you crapped yourself", 2nd one says he hasn't,5 minutes later the 1st one says "are you sure you havent crapped yourself",again he says no,a futher 5 minutes later the 1st one says "i don't believe you,the smell coming from you is terrible,pull your trousers and pants down to prove it,you dirty bas-ard",so the 2nd one pulls his trousers and pants down and the 1st one says "you lying filthy smelly bas-ard,your bum cheeks are smeared in crap,i asked you if you'd crapped yourself and you said no",the 2nd tramp says" oh,i thought you meant today" |
| Oh My God! Those were absolutely hilarious! I really enjoyed them, thanks a bunch for sharing!!!. |
| Men & women, adult website question for you? OK, this is geared more towards the over 18 crowd here. A good friend of mine has been unemployed for a while and is having a very tough time making ends meet. So she's thinking about creating a website where she'll post videos of her doing stuff such as masturbation and the like. Her main "talent" as you would is that she can squirt (and I mean a lot) when she climaxes. She is even thinking of doing live cam shows, etc. She's asked me to set the page up for her and to basically manage the whole deal along with being the camera guy. No, she's not my GF either. Her biggest question is, is there a market for such a thing? Would guys (or girls - she'd not bi, but she'd consider it) be willing to pay say $5 to maybe $10 a month for a site like that? I'm kinda curious myself actually. Hell, I go on cam in Yahoo for free....LOL So, anyways, just wondering if this is something worth proceeding on. |
| as a married woman, my first answer would be no wouldn't pay- but i also am a woman that loves porn but i am very leary about putting credit card info on porn sites and wont do it. so heck yeah sounds hot but no for security reasons! do you have a GF cuz i don't think she will like you being the camera guy for her! |
| Is my vet at fault here, or just bad luck? On May 16, 2009, I took my dog to the lake by my house where I usually take her. She emerged from the water drenched in blood. She was squirting blood from her paw. I immediately called my vet and the receptionist told me he was booked all day and I would have to take her to either Boston (7 miles away) or Woburn (5 miles away). I explained to her it was a serious emergency and she was bleeding a ton. I was panicked and was telling her people were surrounding me because they were concerned she would bleed to death. I told the women how i was covered in blood. The women was adamant about me not being able to bring my dog in. So I rushed her to the emergency vet in Woburn. When I got there they immediately rushed her in the back and began working on her. She needed a transfusion due to the enormous blood loss she suffered. She had severed her artery on a piece of glass. They performed the surgery (13 stitches) and placed a cast and splint on her. The next day I received no call from my vet asking how we made out, nothing. So I was furious. I wrote him a 3 page letter asking him what his policies on emergencies are, etc. I told him how I demanded answers or I will leave his practice and spread the word about his lack of compassion during emergencies. He phoned me 2 days later apologizing profusely. He told me the receptionist didn't relate the seriousness of my phone call to him and in the future to just bring my dog in unannounced and he would be able to work on her. He was very apologetic and even told me he had to let some of the office staff go because of this situation. I took his word for it. After all, mistakes happen. I followed up with him, as suggested by the ER vet. He was very kind, which he usually is.He changed her cast free of charge. I made an appointment to get the stitches out, he told me to do it on Monday. Monday came, her stitches were taken out by the vet tech at 2:30 pm. (Again, free of charge.) She informed me there were no restrictions on my dog, and that she was as good as new. I was so happy to hear that but at the same time shocked. I figured it would be better to let her lay low for a few more days, just to be safe. At 6 pm that day my whole family was outside roasting marshmallows at the fire pit, and my dog was with us, laying down in the grass chewing her kong. As she stood up, she stretched, a normal dog stretch, as soon as she did this she yelped. I ran over to her and realized she was gushing thick black blood everywhere. I immediately called the ER vet because our vet was already closed. We rushed my poor dog back to the ER where we learned the stitches could have came out too early and she had re-lacerated the artery. She needed the same, 900 dollar surgery AGAIN. And this time the bandages would need to stay on for four weeks, to allow more time for healing. As I brought my dog back to see my vet the next day, he mentioned NOTHING about why this might have happened, only to say he was so sorry and felt bad that my dog would now be inside another month. I'm not sure what to do here? Is this just unlucky circumstances, or is someone at fault? Ironically, my dog's name is Lucky. Thanks in advance for reading this long question! |
| Yes, I think your vet is at fault. Your vet sounds like an idiot and I would not have gone back to him after the first episode (since I found out about vets like this the hard way myself). I have found that if the receptionists and techs are not helpful, it's a bad sign about the whole place. A good vet will have helpful people working for them. I had a similar, but way less serious, situation when my dog cut her paw. The vet refused to fit her in, and told me I would have to wait until after the holiday weekend until she could be seen. I gave the vet another chance (as you did) and had the same problem again with the vet not willing to see my dog in an emergency and seeming not to really care. In your case, it could be malpractice since they took off the stitches and didn't warn you. I'm not sure if you can prove it, or if it's worth suing the guy, but I would definitely never take my dog there again. And maybe there is some sort of organization you can notify so others can find out. You can't expect a vet to be able to fix everything, but you should be able to depend on them to try. And to care. And to warn you about things that could go wrong. I mean, they went to vet school. And you're paying them. |